Kids say the darndest things :)

Being a Pediatric Occupational Therapist by profession primarily, I have had my share of listening to the funniest, most random, and sometimes even awe-inspiring things, kids have to say. Sometimes, I am taken aback; at other times, I simply marvel at the beauty of their tiny brains and its complexities.
Here are some anecdotes that made it to the top of my list, which I think definitely make for an interesting read!

1) Teacher to a 7 year old, who for the first time that week, completed his math assignment without any adults prompting or distractions. She wrote 'awesome' on his assignment sheet.
Teacher - "Do you know why I wrote 'awesome' on your paper?"
(expecting to hear that he did his work without any distractions or assistance)
Boy - "Because I am?"

It's that obvious, really. 

2) Sometimes, we forget how literally kids take things. Whatever you eat, goes into your tummy. Isn't that the basic principle they teach us in school?
5 year old boy to pregnant teacher - "Why is your tummy so big?"
Teacher - "That's because my baby is inside."
Boy (with an incredulous look on his face) - "You ate your baby?"

What kind of a mom does that?

3) Me to 8 year old boy - "Do you like football or baseball?"
    Boy - "Baseball."
    Me - "Do you like baseball or football?"
    Boy - "Football."

What I hear last is what my answer will be. 

4) 8 year old boy handing his book over to me - "Turn this page for me."
    Me - "You can do it yourself."
    Boy - "I can't."
    Me - "Use your nails."
    Boy - "I don't have any."
    Me - "Did you cut them?"
    Boy - "No, I ate them."

You should try them too, they're really tasty.
   
5) 7 year old girl to me - "I can't work today, I didn't sleep well last night."
     Me - "Why?"
     Girl - "I had a headache."
     Me - "Are you feeling better now?"
     Girl - "Yes, in the morning my head went away."

... and that's how the healing process takes place.

6) Maybe they do know more than us sometimes.
    Me - "Look at this diamond."
    8 year old - "Miss K, it's a rhombus, not a diamond. You need to learn your shapes."

Maybe I do.

7) Overheard in a classroom:
    Teacher to the students - "Pick the odd one out from the following - Doctor, Teacher, Baby,       Lawyer."
    One of the boys - "Baby!"
    Teacher - "That is correct, but why do you say that?"
    Boy - (Who knew the answer, that the rest are all professions while being a baby is not. But here's how he words it) "Well, a doctor is a doctor, a teacher is a teacher, a lawyer is a lawyer, and a baby is... well, just a baby."

That was way too easy.

8) When we were approaching Memorial Day
     Teacher - "Monday we have no school... because?"
     Boy - "Because it's a holiday!"
     Teacher - "Yes, but why?" (wanting to hear that it's Memorial Day)
     Boy - "I just told you, because it's a holiday." (Sits down, as if the conversation is over)

Teachers, you should really listen to us sometimes. 

9) Me - "M, how was your trip to China?"
    M (9 year old) - "Good, but I didn't understand anybody there. They all speak Chinese."
    Me - "You must have enjoyed the food there!" (Since M is a Chinese boy)
    M - "I did! I ate a muffin at Starbucks!"

When in China....

10) My Speech Therapist friend was talking to a group of children about imaginary characters. After that conversation was over, she said:
      SLP - "Okay, let's talk about the real world and real people now."
      6 year old boy - "Okay! I am going to conquer the world someday!"
      SLP rolls her eyes, saying - "We are done talking about imaginary stuff."
      6 year old boy - (Looking devastated) "What!? That's not going to happen?!"

Reality checks can be brutal!

11) Me - "Okay, let's talk about names of places where people live."
      Girl - "The street!"

There is no arguing with that. Kids observe. 

12) We were doing a handwriting assignment about 'My favorite things'.
      Me - "What car does your father have, J?"
       J - "He has a Honda!"
      Me - "And why is that your favorite thing in the whole world?"
      J - "Because it takes me to Chuck-e-cheese!"

That is its sole purpose in life, and it does that well.

13) I was introducing a student of mine to a new teacher who was in his 60's and balding.
      Me - "R, this is Mr. Tom. Let's go say hello to him."
      R - "Sure."
      In Mr. Tom's room:
      R - "Hi, I'm R, where did all your hair go?"

Honesty is the best policy, isn't it?

14) A student was making fun of a girl who could not run as fast as he could.
      Student - "She is so slow!"
      Teacher - "That's not nice, put yourself in her shoes and then you will understand."
      Student - (Actually went and put the girl's shoes on) "They don't fit! Now what?"

I did what you said, didn't I?

15) Teacher was reading out the list of homework to her class.
       Little girl goes up to her discreetly with her hand bunched up and says:
       Girl - "If you don't give me homework, I will give you $5."

Sacrifices kids make, sigh... 

I'm sure I will have more to add to this list. I am privileged after all, to work with this population!
Happy reading!

~ Krupa

http://feistypurple.blogspot.com

Dear Instagram (ab)users

I love Instagram. I am all for it. Correction: I am all for people using it for the purpose it is meant. What makes it hugely popular is that it transforms ordinary looking pictures into beautiful ones, all thanks to the numerous filters. Yet, why am I seeing a load of crappy pictures all over the app? Some users just don't get it.
I apologize in advance to some of the readers, but for the mere intent of getting my point across, the filter between my brain and my fingers (that are furiously typing currently) is turned off for this particular post.

1) Collages
A collage made from anything more than 3-4 pictures is downright despicable. The more pictures you add, the more it looks like a misshapen quilt out of Old Mother Hubbard's closet.

2) Kids
I love kids, yes, I think they are absolutely adorable. But trust me, even the most loved people in your life are only interested in occasionally watching your child smile or laugh or do something stupid. Remember when your kid yawned? Barfed? Pointed to a random object? Mouthed every inanimate thing in their reach? Good for you, the whole world might just not want to... you get the point (I sure as hell hope you do).

3) TBT
Throwback time (more commonly tbt) most likely refers to some even that occurred years ago, or maybe at least months. Last week is definitely NOT throwback. If you want to post a picture which you think makes you look like Jennifer Aniston, just do so without feeling obliged to title it. Stop the unnecessary overuse of this term.

4) Food
NEWSFLASH! You can actually eat something without posting it on Instagram! :D
Exotic foods, well plated dishes are a delight to the visual senses. If you think you're a culinary Goddess, great! But for pete's sake don't upload pictures of a messy looking salad drenched in dressing, or a half eaten sandwich with cheese droppings and bread crumbs all over. There is a reason you are not the official photographer for The Food Network.

5) Weather
What is it with people uploading weather updates? If you have a great shot at the beach on a sunny day, or of the first snow fall, or some pretty foliage in the rains, share it with the world by all means. But if you think by posting the weather forecast for the week you're doing anybody a favor, think again.

6) What the hell
Randomness is art. Doomed are the people who think thus. And even more doomed are those subject to this nonsense. A messy table, things strewn around your living room, is NOT art. You don't need your camera phone in your hand, you need a broom.

7) Announcements
The banner announcing the flea market next sunday in your neighborhood? The board with the happy hour timings at the bar around the block from your office? Yes, come to think of it, the Valencia filter does make those look prettier. Smh.

8) USE FILTERS!
If you aren't, please do. That's the whole point of this app!

9) #Don't #use #hashtags #for #every #word
Also, hashtags appear at the beginning of a word/phrase that is trending, not at the end.
Point in case --> Nothing# beats# my# mother's# home# made# food#

Ugh. #Epicfail


See the comments section below? Feel free to add your pet peeves!

Hello suburbia :)

Here it is. The day has arrived. It has finally happened. My husband and I have purchased our first home together and we are now new 'home-owners'. The feel of those keys in my hand, the smell of freshly cleaned carpet and newly painted walls sends me in a tizzy from which I do not want to recover anytime soon.

It's true, you don't really appreciate the suburbs unless you've lived in a crazy cramped city like San Francisco. Plenty of free parking space, cleaner air to breathe, actually being able to see a clear blue sky and white wispy clouds.

Don't misunderstand me; I believe San Francisco is one of the best cities in the world. For the rest of my life and no matter where on the globe I might find myself living, I'll proudly tell anyone who asks that I once lived in San Francisco! The reason I put up for so long with issues like parking and the ginormous amounts of rent was only because I couldn't bear the idea of being away from this gorgeous city. Sometimes my husband and I would decide to try new restaurants not because they were well reviewed or the menu seemed appetizing, but because when I looked it up on Google maps and selected 'street view', I would discover they had a parking lot.
I was afraid that once we left, we would never make it back to 'city life'. After almost two and a half years of being here, I still can't look at the skyline without losing my breath for a minute. Stand anywhere in the city and soak in its majestic aura. I guarantee you'll go weak in the knees. I actually thrive on stimulus bordering on chaos, so navigating my fat SUV through the hordes of people trying to make their way to the Caltrain station with wobbly coffee mugs threatening to fall out of their hands actually enthralled me.
My city can be coarse and brutal, but it is strong and proud to be alive.

But I want to drive five miles and have it take only 2 minutes. I want to stop flushing thousands of dollars down the toilet every year in rent and own a home. I want to be able to host my family and friends during occasions or even generally, without having to worry about space and where to put them up.
I really wanted San Francisco to be all these things but maybe part of the process of growing up is realizing the futility of trying to force everything in the city to change to suit my needs. I can't force the homeless to stop trying to wash my windshield every time I stop to fill gas. I can't bargain and bring down the prices of rent. I can't urge more people to use public transport to avoid being stuck for hours in the horror of city traffic.

So here we are; and I take one look at my beautiful home and know that we've made the right decision.

Refreshing take on modern day 'love'

"So we meet once a week, he spends the weekends with me and then flies off to New York for the week."
"So you see your husband every Thursday night until Sunday night?"
"That's right."
"And you guys have been doing this since...?"
"Three years."
"And how long have you'll been married?"
"Four years."
Wow.

This is just a snippet from a conversation I had with a colleague of mine. She and her husband got married 4 years ago, here in California, and then he got a job as a consultant with a huge multi-national. It seemed like a good idea to them, and since he took it up, they spend 3 days together in a week. That's 156 days in a year. Less than half.
"We video chat as often as we can!" she said, but it seemed like she was trying to convince herself more than me. It's not the same thing!

This made me think deeper, about how so many couples who are lucky to be with each other take that for granted. 8/10 couples I see nowadays at restaurants or anywhere outdoors are either on their phones texting, or updating statuses on Facebook, tweeting, clicking pictures (again, with their phone for social media; if it was with a camera for photography as a hobby, you're okay!). These people do not realize how important one-on-one time really is for couples, and how those who miss out on it crave it more than anything.

When my husband and I go out, we don't go without our phones of course, but we try our best to not bury our noses in them all the time. Discuss the happenings of the day, the future, current events, anything! I sometimes ask my husband hypothetical questions to just grab his attention and we each try to outdo the other with our creativity!

Some of you would maintain that you're living with that person and seeing them everyday, how can you possibly do something different everyday? True. You cannot do something creative or different everyday, but find the magic of being together even in the most trivial moments. I am not a couples counselor  neither am I trying to be. But when I put myself in my colleague's place, I realized what I have and she doesn't. And I would not let go of it for the world.

A little space is good of course. Giving your husband the occasional boys' night out ticket, or hanging out with your girlfriends on one week night, is absolutely healthy and even essential sometimes. You do not want to be that clingy couple who cannot do without each other for even a moment. My husband recently went out of town for a 4 day conference and when he came back, I felt as if I had to reiterate everything that happened in those 4 days, that I had already told him over the phone before! Conversations in person are so much better, so much more personal.

There are tons of creative ideas for dates and outings online, I'm sure I don't need to list those down here. What prompted me to write this post was the conversation I had this morning. It felt like some couples need a wake up call. To appreciate what they have, to not take the small things for granted.

Driving slower than me? Moron. Driving faster than me? Maniac.

Note: This post has been written keeping in mind my own flaws (Really? I have flaws?) as a driver. All incidents hereby mentioned are absolutely factual; they have been experienced first hand by this author. Any resemblances to any of my readers or their life experiences are strictly coincidental.

Disclaimer: Don't judge me after reading this! This is just the way my mind thinks sometimes. I'm only human.

How often do you feel while you are driving that you could teach a lesson or two to the fellow who just sped past you or the one who is chugging along at 15 mph lesser than the permissible speed limit?
Recently, I have been coming across more than my share of those drivers who according to me, passed their driving test either because:
a) The examiner was way too happy to deny anyone a licence that day (maybe he won a lottery).
b) The examiner was way too sleepy to even notice any of the errors made (maybe he/she was kept up by his/her spouse's snoring).
c) The examiner was swayed by the examinee's good looks (This reason didn't just occur to me; I have seen it happen in movies).
d) Some reason I am still blissfully unaware of.

Listed below are the categories classifying the various types of nut jobs a normal driver is subjected to:

The TORTOISE group: The name gives it away, it's no rocket science. These are the ones who will drive at the speed of 45 mph on a freeway having a maximum speed limit of 65 mph. No care in the world? Maybe. I admit, when I drive past them I sneak a quick glance in their direction in true Indian style, to see who this person is. Definitely not an angry glare, but a peek to see who is bothered to take the freeway and still drives at the normal road speed limit. Seniors over 60 are exempt from this rule of mine. If I see white hair, glasses, a neck craning over to look beyond the windshield, I only smile to myself and move on. They deserve nothing but respect. Taking control of your life and being independent by driving yourself places earns you brownie points in my blog at least!

The 'WE DON'T NEED NO INDICATORS' group: Really? Changing lanes without signalling that you are going to? Tch tch. Poor driving manners. Not only is that extremely dangerous, but also seems like an annoying attitude of 'I will do what I want to on the road. The others will adjust.' OR 'I am such an experienced driver. Who needs indicators.' We're sorry. Maybe we missed your bright personality which would indicate which lane you're getting into next.

The 'SPEEDSTERS' group: This happened to me. Just a couple weeks ago, I was changing lanes to exit (after flashing my indicator lights of course), and while I was almost mid-way through, by some stroke of good luck and good road sense I immediately turned right back into my lane. The reason? A white bright flash of light just sped past me at easily about 95 mph, and cruised away before I could even register what happened. I thank God multiple times that I did what I did. I missed my exit, but heck, I'm alive! So people who think they're the incarnations of Michael Schumacher, here's a news flash! YOU'RE NOT. If you still think you are, then kindly take your car and your rear to the track because that's where (you think) you belong.

The 'RULES ARE MEANT TO BE FOLLOWED RIGIDLY' group: Alright alright, this might seem paradoxical. You may think 'If she is preaching about driving rules, what is this all about?' Well, I never said I break rules. But bending them now and again is okay, and also officially acceptable by law. Why else is there a +/- 10 rule for speeding? The Speeding Rule: If the speed limit is 35 on the road, I do occasionally cruise on about 40. Likewise if it is 65 on the freeway, I subconsciously am cruising on about 70/72. Just seems like the right thing to do if the road is empty! But there are some people who wouldn't dare go beyond the '35' or the '65'. To them it seems like the right thing to do though, so will restrict from commenting too much here (because technically they aren't in the wrong).  The stop for 3 seconds before turning right at a red light rule: Believe me, this IS a rule. In California at least. And I can say that with a 100% confidence and surety because I just got a big fat ugly traffic ticket for not doing so. Readers, please DO follow this rule. I have seen a lot of people not follow this rule and get away scot-free. I was one of those too, because honestly I didn't know this rule existed! I thought it's stop-and-go. Unfortunately it isn't. So I felt like it's my moral obligation to include this rule here, just because I have been there (not) done that, and in the bargain had to spend 4 hours online passing my traffic school in addition to paying a hefty fine of $300. SO NOT WORTH IT.

The 'TALKERS & TEXTERS' group: Talk on the cell phone by all means if it is hands free and if you can exercise common judgment! I am not saying this because I talk on the phone myself during driving, but because it is permissible in California by law (I checked the DMV site twice and confirmed my research before putting this down in a public blog: http://www.chp.ca.gov/html/answers.html). If you don't have a hands free headset, use earphones or even the speaker option. But no, there are some who INSIST on holding the phone in their hands and let the car swerve anywhere from left to right! Especially the texters. We understand you're happy that you are now a grandfather, we understand that you're mad at your son for getting bad grades, we ALSO understand that you're yelling at your husband because he did not bring the detergent you wanted; please, just do it over the speaker.

The 'BEAUTY QUEENS' group: Being a girl, I understand the need to look pretty before stepping outside the house. I also agree that waking up early to get your hair or make-up done and sacrificing on those extra minutes of sleep IS a big deal. But what I don't get, is holding your phone between the ear and shoulder while applying lipstick quickly (which is a health hazard too; torticollis anyone? ). Or eye shadow-ing yourself at a stop light and not moving until someone is forced to honk for the line of cars to move. I'm sure there are perfectly nice restrooms at all our workplaces. Go use them.

I'm sure there are tons of other kinds of drivers who might be irking everybody at some point or the other. I'm not including all of those because firstly I do not want to be responsible for inducing driving rage in any of you (even if it is passively through my blog), and secondly I have to get to my yogurt for a quick recess before my next student shows up for his therapy session.

FOLLOW THE RULES! Bend them, don't break them :)