Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Dear Instagram (ab)users

I love Instagram. I am all for it. Correction: I am all for people using it for the purpose it is meant. What makes it hugely popular is that it transforms ordinary looking pictures into beautiful ones, all thanks to the numerous filters. Yet, why am I seeing a load of crappy pictures all over the app? Some users just don't get it.
I apologize in advance to some of the readers, but for the mere intent of getting my point across, the filter between my brain and my fingers (that are furiously typing currently) is turned off for this particular post.

1) Collages
A collage made from anything more than 3-4 pictures is downright despicable. The more pictures you add, the more it looks like a misshapen quilt out of Old Mother Hubbard's closet.

2) Kids
I love kids, yes, I think they are absolutely adorable. But trust me, even the most loved people in your life are only interested in occasionally watching your child smile or laugh or do something stupid. Remember when your kid yawned? Barfed? Pointed to a random object? Mouthed every inanimate thing in their reach? Good for you, the whole world might just not want to... you get the point (I sure as hell hope you do).

3) TBT
Throwback time (more commonly tbt) most likely refers to some even that occurred years ago, or maybe at least months. Last week is definitely NOT throwback. If you want to post a picture which you think makes you look like Jennifer Aniston, just do so without feeling obliged to title it. Stop the unnecessary overuse of this term.

4) Food
NEWSFLASH! You can actually eat something without posting it on Instagram! :D
Exotic foods, well plated dishes are a delight to the visual senses. If you think you're a culinary Goddess, great! But for pete's sake don't upload pictures of a messy looking salad drenched in dressing, or a half eaten sandwich with cheese droppings and bread crumbs all over. There is a reason you are not the official photographer for The Food Network.

5) Weather
What is it with people uploading weather updates? If you have a great shot at the beach on a sunny day, or of the first snow fall, or some pretty foliage in the rains, share it with the world by all means. But if you think by posting the weather forecast for the week you're doing anybody a favor, think again.

6) What the hell
Randomness is art. Doomed are the people who think thus. And even more doomed are those subject to this nonsense. A messy table, things strewn around your living room, is NOT art. You don't need your camera phone in your hand, you need a broom.

7) Announcements
The banner announcing the flea market next sunday in your neighborhood? The board with the happy hour timings at the bar around the block from your office? Yes, come to think of it, the Valencia filter does make those look prettier. Smh.

If you aren't, please do. That's the whole point of this app!

9) #Don't #use #hashtags #for #every #word
Also, hashtags appear at the beginning of a word/phrase that is trending, not at the end.
Point in case --> Nothing# beats# my# mother's# home# made# food#

Ugh. #Epicfail

See the comments section below? Feel free to add your pet peeves!

1 comment: