"So you see your husband every Thursday night until Sunday night?"
"That's right."
"And you guys have been doing this since...?"
"Three years."
"And how long have you'll been married?"
"Four years."
Wow.
This is just a snippet from a conversation I had with a colleague of mine. She and her husband got married 4 years ago, here in California, and then he got a job as a consultant with a huge multi-national. It seemed like a good idea to them, and since he took it up, they spend 3 days together in a week. That's 156 days in a year. Less than half.
"We video chat as often as we can!" she said, but it seemed like she was trying to convince herself more than me. It's not the same thing!
This made me think deeper, about how so many couples who are lucky to be with each other take that for granted. 8/10 couples I see nowadays at restaurants or anywhere outdoors are either on their phones texting, or updating statuses on Facebook, tweeting, clicking pictures (again, with their phone for social media; if it was with a camera for photography as a hobby, you're okay!). These people do not realize how important one-on-one time really is for couples, and how those who miss out on it crave it more than anything.
When my husband and I go out, we don't go without our phones of course, but we try our best to not bury our noses in them all the time. Discuss the happenings of the day, the future, current events, anything! I sometimes ask my husband hypothetical questions to just grab his attention and we each try to outdo the other with our creativity!
Some of you would maintain that you're living with that person and seeing them everyday, how can you possibly do something different everyday? True. You cannot do something creative or different everyday, but find the magic of being together even in the most trivial moments. I am not a couples counselor neither am I trying to be. But when I put myself in my colleague's place, I realized what I have and she doesn't. And I would not let go of it for the world.
A little space is good of course. Giving your husband the occasional boys' night out ticket, or hanging out with your girlfriends on one week night, is absolutely healthy and even essential sometimes. You do not want to be that clingy couple who cannot do without each other for even a moment. My husband recently went out of town for a 4 day conference and when he came back, I felt as if I had to reiterate everything that happened in those 4 days, that I had already told him over the phone before! Conversations in person are so much better, so much more personal.
There are tons of creative ideas for dates and outings online, I'm sure I don't need to list those down here. What prompted me to write this post was the conversation I had this morning. It felt like some couples need a wake up call. To appreciate what they have, to not take the small things for granted.
No comments:
Post a Comment