Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Kids say the darndest things :)

Being a Pediatric Occupational Therapist by profession primarily, I have had my share of listening to the funniest, most random, and sometimes even awe-inspiring things, kids have to say. Sometimes, I am taken aback; at other times, I simply marvel at the beauty of their tiny brains and its complexities.
Here are some anecdotes that made it to the top of my list, which I think definitely make for an interesting read!

1) Teacher to a 7 year old, who for the first time that week, completed his math assignment without any adults prompting or distractions. She wrote 'awesome' on his assignment sheet.
Teacher - "Do you know why I wrote 'awesome' on your paper?"
(expecting to hear that he did his work without any distractions or assistance)
Boy - "Because I am?"

It's that obvious, really. 

2) Sometimes, we forget how literally kids take things. Whatever you eat, goes into your tummy. Isn't that the basic principle they teach us in school?
5 year old boy to pregnant teacher - "Why is your tummy so big?"
Teacher - "That's because my baby is inside."
Boy (with an incredulous look on his face) - "You ate your baby?"

What kind of a mom does that?

3) Me to 8 year old boy - "Do you like football or baseball?"
    Boy - "Baseball."
    Me - "Do you like baseball or football?"
    Boy - "Football."

What I hear last is what my answer will be. 

4) 8 year old boy handing his book over to me - "Turn this page for me."
    Me - "You can do it yourself."
    Boy - "I can't."
    Me - "Use your nails."
    Boy - "I don't have any."
    Me - "Did you cut them?"
    Boy - "No, I ate them."

You should try them too, they're really tasty.
5) 7 year old girl to me - "I can't work today, I didn't sleep well last night."
     Me - "Why?"
     Girl - "I had a headache."
     Me - "Are you feeling better now?"
     Girl - "Yes, in the morning my head went away."

... and that's how the healing process takes place.

6) Maybe they do know more than us sometimes.
    Me - "Look at this diamond."
    8 year old - "Miss K, it's a rhombus, not a diamond. You need to learn your shapes."

Maybe I do.

7) Overheard in a classroom:
    Teacher to the students - "Pick the odd one out from the following - Doctor, Teacher, Baby,       Lawyer."
    One of the boys - "Baby!"
    Teacher - "That is correct, but why do you say that?"
    Boy - (Who knew the answer, that the rest are all professions while being a baby is not. But here's how he words it) "Well, a doctor is a doctor, a teacher is a teacher, a lawyer is a lawyer, and a baby is... well, just a baby."

That was way too easy.

8) When we were approaching Memorial Day
     Teacher - "Monday we have no school... because?"
     Boy - "Because it's a holiday!"
     Teacher - "Yes, but why?" (wanting to hear that it's Memorial Day)
     Boy - "I just told you, because it's a holiday." (Sits down, as if the conversation is over)

Teachers, you should really listen to us sometimes. 

9) Me - "M, how was your trip to China?"
    M (9 year old) - "Good, but I didn't understand anybody there. They all speak Chinese."
    Me - "You must have enjoyed the food there!" (Since M is a Chinese boy)
    M - "I did! I ate a muffin at Starbucks!"

When in China....

10) My Speech Therapist friend was talking to a group of children about imaginary characters. After that conversation was over, she said:
      SLP - "Okay, let's talk about the real world and real people now."
      6 year old boy - "Okay! I am going to conquer the world someday!"
      SLP rolls her eyes, saying - "We are done talking about imaginary stuff."
      6 year old boy - (Looking devastated) "What!? That's not going to happen?!"

Reality checks can be brutal!

11) Me - "Okay, let's talk about names of places where people live."
      Girl - "The street!"

There is no arguing with that. Kids observe. 

12) We were doing a handwriting assignment about 'My favorite things'.
      Me - "What car does your father have, J?"
       J - "He has a Honda!"
      Me - "And why is that your favorite thing in the whole world?"
      J - "Because it takes me to Chuck-e-cheese!"

That is its sole purpose in life, and it does that well.

13) I was introducing a student of mine to a new teacher who was in his 60's and balding.
      Me - "R, this is Mr. Tom. Let's go say hello to him."
      R - "Sure."
      In Mr. Tom's room:
      R - "Hi, I'm R, where did all your hair go?"

Honesty is the best policy, isn't it?

14) A student was making fun of a girl who could not run as fast as he could.
      Student - "She is so slow!"
      Teacher - "That's not nice, put yourself in her shoes and then you will understand."
      Student - (Actually went and put the girl's shoes on) "They don't fit! Now what?"

I did what you said, didn't I?

15) Teacher was reading out the list of homework to her class.
       Little girl goes up to her discreetly with her hand bunched up and says:
       Girl - "If you don't give me homework, I will give you $5."

Sacrifices kids make, sigh... 

I'm sure I will have more to add to this list. I am privileged after all, to work with this population!
Happy reading!

~ Krupa

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