Damn you Grey's Anatomy

At 10:30 am this morning when I was downing spoonfuls of my cereal and catching glimpses of the news on TV, I realized I was going to be home the entire afternoon with not much to do. Which meant a three hour uninterrupted Grey's Anatomy marathon from 1:00 pm - 4:00 pm! I looked at my to-do list that I had prepared for today and scanned it carefully, wondering if I could check off all the chores before 1:00 pm; somehow this valuable piece of information that had just hit my brain made me want to work faster than I ever had to accomplish all that, get lunch, and then enjoy my favorite sitcom in peace.

Once I had showered and was ready to leave, I sped down to the Business Office to scan some important papers to my employer. "Sorry ma'am the document feeder is jammed, so you will have to place each page individually." Well isn't that just great. I scanned what I had to, send out a couple of emails, and got out as quickly as I could, heading into Safeway for some groceries. I checked out and realized I needed AAA batteries. "You will get them at the Customer Service stand ma'am." Making my way there with my hands already full, I was greeted by a burly African-American woman in her mid-forties, who did not look happy. 

"Hi! Can I check these out here please? It's only a pack of batteries and I..." 

"Is there a game tonight?"

"I'm sorry what?"

"Is there a GAME tonight?" she stressed on the word 'game' with an annoyed expression. 

"Uh, I don't know, maybe?" I was struggling to find the right words here that would make her happy. But her expression remained unchanged. 

"That means I'm going to be reaching home late, AGAIN," she looked straight at me as if I was the organizer of all the Giants' games here at AT&T park, and also in charge of the traffic while they played. 

"Sorry?" I almost asked her, not finding the right tone of voice in my urgency to get out of there as soon as possible. "You have a good day!" I looked at my watch, 11:50. I was about to head to the main check out counters and brave the long lines, when she spoke up, "You can check those out here by the way."

Thank you.

No speeding, no speeding, I mentally repeated those words to myself as I head to the mall. There were cops at every block today, as though they knew before hand that I am going to be in a hurry today and will be more tempted than ever to press my foot down on that accelerator. The four floored parking lot did not make my work any easier. The first two levels were full. Really? No spots? What are people doing in the mall on a weekday? Does nobody have to get to work? 

After a good 7 minutes, I landed up with a spot on the third level close to the elevator. Maybe I should not mention my OCD-ish behavior here, that I did skip about 4 spots in the bargain of finding one close to the elevator. 

As I walked through Bloomingdales, a couple of girls tried to stop me for either a free make-up application session or to do my hair. "How are you ma'am?" "Great thanks! In a hurry! Sorry!" Of course I had to be polite even though I was in a rush. "Ma'am we have a new perfume for you to try!" a man sprung out of nowhere right in front of me. I obliged by taking the strip out of his hand and responded with a "It's great! Thanks!" while heading out to the escalators in front of me. Just before I stepped onto the one heading up, another man in a white lab coat semi-blocked me while smiling a freakish broad smile. "Ma'am have you ever tried whitening your teeth before?" Well at least that explains the creepy smile. Before I knew it, I had stepped onto the escalator on an impulse and was on my way up to the store. I smiled back at him, to let him know that I had in fact heard him and was sorry I couldn't sample whatever it was that he was going to hand out to me. A teenage girl in front of me was texting non stop, and giggling the sort of giggle that emanates when your childhood crush looks at you or smiles at you. I tried side stepping to the left to get in front of her but at the exact same moment she flipped her long purple colored hair and moved to approximately the center. Thankfully I reached my level in the next 3 seconds.

As I rushed to the store to return some of the stuff that I had bought on an impulse and actually did not fit me (No, I have not gained weight. Thank God for that. It just did not fit. Or fit weirdly. Whatever. Read on!), I checked my teeth in a nearby mirror quickly. Teeth whitening? Did he spot something that I could not? Satisfied with what my smile looked like and avoiding the cashier's odd stare, I made my way out. Right when I reached the entrance, I was distracted by a sign that said 'FINAL SALE $12.95'. No harm checking out what it is, my mind rationalized. I did not look at my watch, in case it was too late and I would not make it back home by 1:00 pm. Instead, I looked through the rack with a quick hand and the eye of an experienced shopper, and before I knew it I was in the fitting room with a brand new pair of beige trousers in my hand. They fit to the tee. I was so glad my keen eye is well trained to spot these fantastic deals. As I made my way out, I looked at my watch to see how long I had before my favorite sitcom re-run would be aired. It was only the five hundredth time that I would be watching it, but no, I could not miss even a minute. 12:45. I was cutting it close. 

If only these escalators came with a speed-up or with a move-these-slow-morons out of your way button. The journey all the way down was slow and painful. I dashed to the closest exit as soon as we were on ground level, and my way out to the parking lot was also through Bloomingdale's. I pretended to be busy on my phone and avoided all the salespeople trying to make their way to me, and as I reached the door with a triumphant tune playing in my head, something caught my eye. A beautiful sweater. A beautiful deep red cashmere sweater. I was torn between running out to the parking lot while the pedestrian crossing light was still on, or stopping and taking a look at this beauty in front of me. I chose the latter. Yes, sometimes the human mind does have to make some difficult decisions and choose between two equally attractive options. As I admired this work of art, I really did not have the patience to try it on so I decided I would come back later, maybe next week. I'll see you later, cashmere, my eyes spoke to it. As I placed it back on the rack I took a look at the price-tag which came dangling down as if to mock me; $298.00. Well, maybe we won't meet later, cashmere. 

Fumbling with my keys, I finally opened the door to my apartment and ran to the living room. 1:01 pm. I was in time! I feverishly looked through the guide and then looked again. WIFE SWAP? What was this show? And where was Grey's Anatomy? I looked again. And again. And then one last time while I plopped down on the couch, my bags still in my hands. They weren't airing it today. So all this rush was for nothing. I could have eyed every piece of clothing in that mall because I had the entire afternoon to myself now and nothing to do at home. Well, at least I was richer by one gorgeous trouser hanging in my closet. 

Damn you Grey's Anatomy. 

P.s. You see what Cristina Yang looks like in the picture below? I probably looked like that at the mall. Only instead of wheeling a patient in a wheelchair to save his life, I had bags in my hands and looked more like a mad lady than a surgeon.